They should be called "Why's"

They said boys are different.
I hope their pants catch fire...Bunch of liars !

Different doesnt begin to cover these creatures that are boys.

We will start with their breath : who's butt were they licking in their sleep?!? OMGaaaaah

Their hair: Why wont it lay down? There is ALWAYS a wayward patch that refuses to behave. Especially on picture day.

Bodily functions: Why must it be everywhere? Pee on the toilet, poop paper in the floor two inches from the can, underwear.......dont get me started on the boys underwear. Why?!?

Clothes: *side eye* get grass stains on everything....One Mo Time..

Eating: Must they shovel it in their mouths like starving feral children, and be completely unaware of the honey comb cereal hanging from their chin? How does this happen? Is their face numb?

Drama: If anyone ever says anything about girls drama......they have never seen a boy throw a fit.
The frequency at which they can scream is glass shattering....
Let Mario die.....your ears will ring for an hour.

Body part obcession: Why are they touching their junk all the time?
Im not talking about the normal butt pick either.
I have never once, walked in on my girls pimp slapping their hoo-ha's......but the boy......you would have thought his penis owed him money.
"Boing ! Boing ! BOoooooING!!!" He says.
I just shut the door, they obviously had an issue to work out.

Lack of life preserving fear: Is it necessary to do stuff that can kill you......everyday?
In a month the boy has killed his 4 front teeth, broke his arm and gotten a concussion.
All from doing some dare devil trick off the highest point possible, at school or home. 
Does he not know that even if he doesnt die, I may?.....I am always 2 seconds away from stroking out. Seriously.

Inappropriate humor: Opening the freezer, shirtless, then rushing to another perso  hollering "my nickles shrank up!!!" is currently his favorite parlor trick.
He thinks its hilarious....and it was funny.....about 572 times ago.

Longest & most uneffective shower award goes to: My son !! Who somehow can manage to be in the shower 45 minutes and never get his hair washed.......probably cause hes too busy slappin his junk....

I may never figure this little man child out......ever.
Thank God he gives such good hugs and loves his mama most....Its the only thing that saves him most days.