Cause smacking kids is illegal

I love my children....... but everytime I clean their room I do some serious smack talkin..

I might be wrong, but I think they were mobsters in a past life..........and their only job was to hide the body.

I'll tell you why:
Their room will appear to be clean.
I will think, " I just need to make the bed and vacuum".......but I am wrong......everytime.

There's crap hid everywhere !! And I'm 99% sure they were the ones that hid Jimmy Hoffa's body.

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Paper stuffed in the cubby of the coloring table....."what the?!?!....I told them to put that in the trash"

Crayon paper scraps under the hotwheels rug......."bet these just jumped under there all by itself...."

Pajamas in the pet shop suitcase...." mutha mutha !"

Stiff toilet paper under the pillow......" nasty snot  monsters.....imma choke...."

Writing on the wall........" that says I like spankings"

Underwear under the gaming chair......" when they get home, I'm snatchin' first and asking questions later."

Banana peel behind the blinds........ "son of a..........*DEEEP BREATH* they gotta get their own place"

Dirty socks behind the magic 8 ball......." Jesus !! They gonna need Jesus !!"

I know 2 five yr olds that have some 'splainin' to do when they get off the bus......
They better start with "Mama you sure look pretty today" or something.