Why you never wake a sleeping Bare

My husband is a VERY heavy sleeper, and needs at least 20 mins to wake up .
***which severly grates on my 'jump out of bed and hit the road running' nerves***

Sometime I need to have a serious conversation immediately after waking him. *who has 20 mins?!*

Most of the time its ok. He wakes up, answers, and goes back to sleep.

BUT

There are occassions where he will fool you......He will appear to be awake and lucid, but is really asleep with his eyes open.
He will carry on about the most rediculious stuff, while grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

He's a sleep talker........
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He had some test ran a week ago and the Dr's office called with the results this morning, so I woke my sleeping husband.

He sat on the edge of the bed with the phone, and said "Hello? This is Josh".
This led me to believe he was awake.... so I continued on to the restroom.

As I'm sitting there I hear:
" Results? Yes.yes..MmmmHmmm".
..... nothing out of the ordinary, so I relax.

THEN I hear......
"Results are prayers....MmmmHmmm....yes Im praying".

WHAT? Oh-My-God..... hes still sleeping!!

I sprint thru the bathroom.
I have to get the phone before he starts talkin crazy !
My pants try to kill me, by wrapping around my ankles & I fall....

He continues.
" Yes, MmmHmm... testicles, got em right here...Iiiiii's gots em..yep"

--------Sweet BabyJesus!!! Shut up,Shut UP !!!

I finally get to him, and hes just sittin there...... cheesin while he chirps. *forehead slap*

I snatch the phone, apologize profusely and try to explain that he's not a creeper.....he's just sleep talking.
*sigh*
He totally sounded like a creeper.....
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He has a follow up visit in 2 weeks....

I dont care if the office is made out of chocolate cake & skittles....my fat butt is staying home.

I could see me now.....
" Im here with Josh and his testicles......yep he still has them......"

Not goin !!!