Aint getting any trophies today

Ive been a bit off my game today.

Had to go to court & decided to try a new perfume that was given to me by a friend. Being the trusting person I am......I sprayed first and put a curse on my friend later.
I think it was called "Gray Hair and Kerosene"......cause I smelled like a gas sniffin Golden Girl.

I prayed it would tone down during the 30 minute drive to court and I thought it did ! Til I sat down and noticed folks were lookin at me like I had been smoking refer in the parking lot & was trying to cover it by grabbing the first senior I saw, and rubbing them all over myself.

It got better tho.....

Didnt notice my bra strap was showing the entire time I was in front of the judge, giving an update on our bonus babies.

Fly was down

Hubbys "bow chicka wow wow" ringtone went off, cause I didnt follow directions to silence all phones.

Sounded like I had a speech delay trying to pronounce rural

THEN I get home.......

Said shit on accident in front of the little parrots.

Stuck my finger in poop checking a diaper ^^^^ hence the verbal slippage

Accidently hit the shower thingy when the littles were in the bath....which turned them both into chicken little as the sky was falling.

Sat on the cat and got bit in the part of my butt that has slid into my thigh with age

And ran a load of laundry with no detergent..........but I totally fixed that one by forgetting to add detergent AGAIN when I rewashed em.

Then handed one of the middles regular shampoo instead of tear free......so they are now blind .....which somehow also made their legs not work.

If you must know........ALL of this is the husbands fault.
When I figure out why, I'm gonna be really mad at him.