Hostile Territory

My darling husband was talking about a bill thats due Feb 13th.
My husband & I dont do presents......but......being the smart mouth that I am, I said:
" Its almost like they wanna try to keep you from buying me a Valentine....that I never get anyways." *just teasing*
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This led to the following conversation:

Josh: I get you presents

Me: whos wife u been buying for? I buy myself presents......(besides this mothers day) name a time you got me a present. That I didnt pick out and go get......myself

***beeep beeeeep....enemy approaching......attempt redirection, attempt redirection****

Josh: Well hell, we been married so long....I never know what to getcha.

****warning...system failure-system failure...abort mission****

Me:  as in, you have NO IDEA what I like??

****Alpha squadron, do you read me?.....backup requested...enemy is employing evasive maneuvers****

Josh: yeah! I never know what to get you.....I pay for the stuff you buy yourself . Technically thats getting you a gift.....

*****Mayday Mayday.......man down, I repeat, man down...enemy is engaging in hostile activity. Bring in air support!!!!****

----------General Joshua Bare went MIA after coming into contact with a EWD (exploding wife device). Hes thought to be in the Grant area wearing a helmet and eating bologna sandwiches for dinner.