Thats it! We are moving........

We cut our middle daughters hair from her hips to her shoulders, a while back.
Since it doesnt have the weight to hold it straight anymore, styling after baths is necessary.
If you dont blow it dry.......its a hot mess.
Shes been wearing a boggin to school lately, and told me she wore it all day.
So I let her freak flag fly........cause its covered with a boggin right??? None sees the proof of my morning laziness.......

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WROOOONG!!!!!

This morning her hair was particularly funky.
She went to bed with it wet, and even after brushing...... it defied gravity.

ME: No biggie *shrugs* we will slap a rainbow monkey boggin on, and noone will know that you look like a feral child under that hat.

Bre: mmmkay.....can I eat my candy at snack

Me: sure

Nae: the bus is coming!!!!

**** rush to slap boggins and coats on****

RIGHT before they go out the door, Nae (My oldest) says:

" You know they make us take our hats off, before we go in the gym right??........everybody sees Bre's hair everyday"

---------->WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I feels like the time my mom caught my pre-teen self jumping up & down in front of the mirror.......staring at my boobs......

Utter shock-->followed by embarassment-->followed by a frantic rush of brain activity to come up with a reasonable excuse for whats going on.
It usually comes out like " Its naked exercising.....keeps the body cool while you burn calories....."
Which is a total lie, but you would rather stick your hand in the mouth of a rabid badger than tell what you were REALLY doing.

So heres the first 3 things my synapses fired off, in my moment of panicked embarassment:

1) I have no arms....therefore I cannot style

2) I fixed it, but the bus driver has a tazer.....I bet Bre got out of her seat again.....

3) Bre ran away several days ago, and has been living in the woods and brushing her hair with a stick......Thank God she found clean clothes in her size.....and signed homework.....and toothpaste......and a way to school everyday.

One of these will totally fly right??? Cause I aint telling anyone that I thought I was getting a pass and lazed out, by slapping a hat on my kids wild hair.
Not to mention I'm letting her eat CANDY for snack........gaaaaah

The Pintrest moms would be at my door with pitchforks and torches. Burning homemade wreath wrapped crosses in my yard .............I'm gonna have to move out of state.
There is no other alternative.